the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
