She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
