bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize