He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
