I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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