id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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