She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
