We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
