3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm jealous of your bromance
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Randomize