we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
