I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
