Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize