So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
