I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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