Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
