I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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