bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
