That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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