I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
