yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
operation have a gay friend backfired
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
