dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
