If i come over, it means nothing
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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