His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
