He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
