I wish I only lived at night.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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