Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
