Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think i peed on brittanys purse
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
