you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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