What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
