Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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