I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
