My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
