21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
