It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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