If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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