It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
