we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
