I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
