Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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