so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
please come you make the beer taste better
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize