Banned from zoo.
Again?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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