i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
