I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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