When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
