Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There's always time for handjobs
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
