You can't special order awesome
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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