we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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