i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
