I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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