you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
