i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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