They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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