Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Found the puke drawer
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
