I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
