you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
