i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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