i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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