I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
