you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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