i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
