I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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