remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think people are normalizing furries
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
