CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
