I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
