You can't motorboat a personality
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
