I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
